HEED The Small Still Voice and VISIT The Passing Generation
I am ONLY 67 years old. Actually, I am OVER 67-1/2 years old. Not that I'm counting.
This year, in September 2017, I am attending my 50th High School Reunion. As this milestone event began to rise on the horizon, I wondered about it and was thinking, "50 YEARS, that's 1/2 CENTURY. That's a long time. That was another time in the history of my generation. Things are so different today, not like they were when I was a teenager. This is a time that my father would not recognize. I can hardly believe, but I do believe, the differences, both good and bad, between now and then."
THINKING ABOUT PEOPLE I KNEW. Coming to this age of 67, being retired, and thinking about 50 years having gone by since high school, I have been thinking about people that I used to know and saw on a daily basis in our relationships. That has brought me to looking at those people from two generations, my generation and the generation before me.
REMEMBERING THEM. It seems that I am often thinking of people from the generation before me with whom I worked with or worked for in my early life and career. Some of those people are Gladys Gross, an assistant grocery store manager, Bob Laudermilch, a head grocery store manager, Mike Tucci (senior), a former neighbor when I was a kid, Joe Bonarrigo, an engineer and businessman, Ed Lewis, an engineer and business owner, and of course, Mel Bittenbender, an engineer and business owner and dear Christian friend. All of these people are in their upper 80s or early 90s.
I think of these people often and I have a persistent desire to look them up and go visit them. Why is that? Well, one reason is probably that's what many people do as they grow "old", or I prefer to say "older". They look back on their lives and the people they knew well and connected with a lot, whether in jobs or neighborhoods. It's just one thing that "older" people do.
Two people that have been on my mind most are Joe Bonarrigo (88) and Ed Lewis (90s). I heard that they were both still living. I worked with both of them at different engineering firms. They were my employers and supervisors.
Two others are Gladys Gross (80s) and Bob Laudermilch (deceased). I worked with them at Super Thrift Grocery Store, my first job as a teenager that I had from age 16 into my college years. They were my supervisors. Bob is deceased for many years now. Gladys is still living.
Another is Mike (Mick) Tucci (90s) who is still living in the neighborhood where I grew up in the 2600 block of Duke Street in Harrisburg, PA. Mr. Tucci is an original to the neighborhood and an anchor to this day, having lived there for about 60 years. His wife, Milly Tucci, passed away a couple of years ago.
The best remembered is Mel Bittenbender (90s). Mel is the best remembered because we started sharing as Christians over 30 years and we still do so today. Mel has been there for me consistently for all of those years. There is no one like Mel for me, no one, none, not a one. He is a walking light of truth and faith in Christ who always has a meaningful truth to share with me, and I with him.
WHY AM I TELLING YOU THIS? Should any of this be meaningful for you? Yes, I think so, because what I want to convey to you is that, if someone is coming to your mind, whether a few times or many times, make it a point to reach out to them as soon as possible. There is a reason that they are coming to your mind, and the only way to discover that reason is to contact them and visit them as soon as possible. That's what I want to do and started doing. However, with the two on my mind most, I put it off consistently, month after month, but they STILL kept coming to mind.
THE FIRST CONTACT. The first contact I made a couple of years ago was with Gladys Gross. I searched the web and found her address and phone number and gave her a surprise phone call. She lives about 30 miles from me. When her husband answered, I told him I wanted to surprise here and did not give him my name. I sensed a little uneasiness in his voice (not sure though). Gladys got on the phone. We had not seen or talked to each other since about 1970, that's 47 years . . . . amazing. We had a nice chat remembering coworkers. It was very good to reconnect.
THE SECOND CONTACT. This past week, I decided that I procrastinated long enough and I must contact Joe Bonarrigo and Ed Lewis. Last week, I was passing by Camp Hill and decided it was time to find Joe's home. My GPS would not cooperate, so I started to search the small residential area by car. I knew he lived on Hill Top Road, so I figured, go from the flat area and drive up the hills. That should work in this small town of New Cumberland. Well, that easily worked. I found his home in minutes. I passed by, but did not stop because I had another place to be and did not have the time to stop. Well, today (July 6, 2017), again I was passing by Camp Hill and went on up to Hill Top Road. I parked in front of Joe's home, went up to the front door, and rang the bell. Joe came to the door. He recognized my face but could not remember my name, which is excusable since I was only one of his employees for less than 2 years in 1978 and 1979. So, I reminded of him of my name, and then he remembered. He said he was thinking of me also just the other day. Hum . . . . we were both thinking of one another.
I visited with Joe for less than an hour. We had a pleasant time talking in his living room. He stills sees another coworker he employed, Dick Ernst (my generation). I've often wondered where Dick is but could not find an address or phone number. While with Joe, he called Dick on the phone, but there was no answer. So, he wanted me to leave the message. I did and left an anonymous voice message to get him wondering. I expect to be contacting Dick soon.
Upon leaving, I told Joe that we should get together for lunch with Dick sometime. He agreed. Just before leaving, I asked Joe if I could pray for him. He said, "Sure, I can always use that." I prayed a prayer of thanks for knowing Joe and having worked for Joe. I prayed for his continued health and well being.
WHO's NEXT? Probably Dick Ernst, since I Joe gave me his phone number. I will try not to procrastinate on contacting him.
THEN WHO? Most likely, it should be Ed Lewis since he lives nearby in Mechanicsburg. And also Mike Tucci, since he still lives in my old neighborhood. I did stop by Mr. Tucci's home about a week ago, but he was not home. I did leave a business card in the screen door.
WHAT's THE PURPOSE AND REWARD? For Joe and Ed, I wanted to check on them in their health and their spiritual life. For Joe, I was glad to be able to put my hands on Joe's shoulder and pray for him, and then give him a hug which he received. After the prayer, he said, "That was nice." My reward? Mission accomplished, a sense of fulfillment, an opportunity to meet again. For the others, I expect the same as what happened for Joe.
AND THE STORY GOES ON. I have started to meet with these people who are part of my past and a part of the generation that preceded my generation. Their generation is passing away, and they know it. Joe said that he is the only one left of certain people with whom he engaged in his engineering career. Also, his wife passed after 4 years of Joe providing in-home care during her illness with a hospital bed in the living room. His brothers have also passed.
LISTEN TO THE STILL, SMALL VOICE. When someone comes to mind, do not pass it off as just a memory of days gone by. Think about what a phone call or visit could do for you and the other person. If they continually come to mind, heed that message of the still small voice. There is something for you to do, something you must do. Contact them, with a surprise phone call or surprise visit to their home.
If you wait too long, you may miss your golden opportunity to give and gain something special. If you procrastinate, they may pass away or be in a condition such that you cannot visit them. Listen to the still small voice, then act on making a meaningful and rewarding contact. If you don't, both of you lose out. If you do, both of you gain something that cannot be bought, but can only be lived. Remember, your time is limited.
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James Eugene Barbush
2021 Blue Mountain Parkway
Harrisburg, PA 17112
(717) 514-5549
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